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So What Does A Mid-life Crisis Look Like for A Christian Woman?

I looked up the definition of mid-life crisis in the dictionary because I was wondering if I was having one. No, I’m not buying a pink convertible or leaving my family to go “find myself,” but the reality of my age has been in the front of my mind a lot lately.

The Google definition of mid-life crisis: an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age.

Early middle age? This made me laugh. What is that exactly?

A crisis of identity…a crisis of self-confidence…hmmm

Anyone else struggle with the reality of what’s happening to themselves as the years go by? Some things for me that are becoming hard to ignore as I turned 40…

  • I had to call and make an appointment for a mammogram.
  • I have hair growing in weird ways and in places it shouldn’t be growing.
  • My skin on my face is getting blotchy and I’m having to reapply make-up.
  • The laugh lines around my eyes don’t disappear anymore when I’m done laughing.
  • It feels better to sit and watch my kids play than actually play with them. I’m so tired.
  • I calculate how long it will be till I get to go to bed.
  • It takes me a lot longer to lose the 5 pounds, if I lose it at all.
  • I can’t remember things that are really important to remember (birthdays, passwords, my children’s names, etc).
  • I have to hit the scroll down tab a bunch of times to find the year I was born when I’m ordering something online.
  • My eight-year-old son asked me if I had telephones “back in the old days when you were a kid.” Oh my word.

Yes, we can laugh about these things (kind of), right?

But what about the ones that aren’t as funny?

  • Are my kids understanding how important Jesus is? Do I just tell them or am I showing them?
  • Will my husband still love me as I age? What if I can’t hold his attention?
  • What if I am missing the whole reason God put me here on this planet? Am I doing what God wants me to do with my life?
  • What if no one remembers me? What if I never accomplish anything worth remembering?

I have wrestled with these questions a lot lately. And of course that is exactly what our enemy wants. Some days these questions aren’t as pressing, but some days they make me feel deep fear and a bit of panic.

This week I was praying about this subject, trying not to give in to the fear that gripped my heart. And my Father, who is so patient and loving with me, provided the answer like He always does. He didn’t promise lasting physical beauty or even health, but He promised His strength, His presence, His faithfulness, His guidance. And through His Word, He reminded me of Who He is and Who I am, and Who I can put my confidence in.

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands. – Psalm 138:8

And this world is fading away along with everything that people crave: but anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. – 1 John 2:17 (NLT)

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes. – Psalm 118:8

I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:9-10

Being confident of this very thing, that he who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6

God will direct me and show me His plan if I stay close. This world is fading away, but that’s okay. It’s not what matters; eternity is what matters. I don’t need to have confidence in myself (that is a scary thought anyway)-my confidence can and should be in the Lord. God chooses me every day and He loves me. He is close. I don’t have to be afraid of the future and I don’t have to be afraid of growing older.

And boom, just like that, He resets my perspective and re-fixes my eyes on Him.

And next week (or even later this afternoon), when the same old feelings rise to the surface, I’ll pull out these verses and re-soak in the truth. I will repeat these words until they have calmed the fears and insecurities in my heart.

Personally, I think that’s the best beauty treatment out there.

Lord, I’m so thankful you think I’m beautiful and a treasure no matter what age I am. I’m so thankful for the miracle of the Holy Spirit in me, making my inside beautiful because of Jesus – it just makes the outside packaging less important. Thanks for the reminder. Amen.

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If you are an imperfect wife, mom, daughter, or friend, struggling to stay focused on God in the craziness and find joy in the heartache, then we have something in common. I am a recovering perfectionist and daughter of the King, slowly learning to fully trust the One who sees me just as I am, and is already pleased. I’m so glad you are here.

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