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I Have Now Seen the One Who Sees Me

My husband and I had a couple of days away this past weekend, resting and reconnecting. It was wonderful. I also had time to really "be still" and listen for God's voice. I wasn't trying to juggle a thousand different things, so I was able to hear His voice much more clearly and more quickly than usual.

God revealed to me a lie that has been buried deep in my heart for as long as I can remember. It had become part of me, so much so that I didn't even recognize it as a lie. The enemy of my soul whispers it to me too often, and I don't believe I am alone. I think it is an epidemic with women everywhere.

"You could never be enough."

Ugh. Painful to look at. Satan uses this very old, but very effective, lie to keep many of God's daughter's living in defeat and despair. How many of us assess our value based on our accomplishments for the day?

God gently showed me again this weekend that I am already pleasing to Him.

I don't have to strive and work and "do." God is so close to me. And He is pursuing my heart, if I would just slow down a minute and take notice.

I recommend reading all of Psalm 139, but here are some of my favorite phrases from it:

  • you have searched me and you know me...(verse 1)
  • you are familiar with all my ways...(verse 3)
  • I praise you because I fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well...(verse 14)

I love the New Living Translation's version of Psalm 139:17: How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!

God thinks about me more often than I can count. Now that makes me smile.

I love this Psalm. It may feel so familiar to you, but do you fully receive it? Do you believe that it applies specifically to You? I must admit that I struggle with that sometimes.

Besides revealing the very old lie I have believed (that I could never be enough), God showed me much truth this weekend; truth that I can replace that old lie with...

  • I am enough. I don't have to do anything to have God be pleased with me. He is already pleased (amazing, right!?).
  • I am beautiful.
  • I am wanted.
  • I am fully accepted and I am fully loved.
  • I am called. God has a dream and a specific purpose for my life. He will provide me with everything I need to fulfill the dream I was always meant to live.
  • I've got what it takes.
  • I am God's child

I don't just have to survive each day. I've got what it takes to thrive each day. We can have daily victory.

Not because of me, but because of Him.

I am learning to dance in the rain. God makes me want to "dance," even when it's tempting to just sit on the sidelines and quit because it's just too hard. Choosing to "dance," even in life's hardest circumstances, requires courage. The Holy Spirit is the only giver of that kind of courage.

I think our broken lives interfere with our ability to believe that God could ever be pleased with us.

God did not place the impossible standards I have set for myself on me. I did that. The insecurity and guilt I feel as a result come from never being able to achieve those impossible standards.

Impossible standards steal joy. They steal abundant life.

I read the story of Hagar in the Old Testament this weekend. I've never spent much time reading about her, but I saw it with new eyes this time.

In Genesis 16, Hagar is the Egyptian slave girl of Abraham and Sarah.

Here is a part of her story:

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; 2 so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”
Abram agreed to what Sarai said. 3 So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. 4 He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.
When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me.”
6 “Your slave is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.” Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her.
7 The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. 8 And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”
“I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered.
9 Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” 10 The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.”
- Genesis 16:1-9

So what's so great about this story?

Verse 7 says, "The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert." The fact that he "found" Hagar tells me that he was looking for her. When no one else was looking for Hagar, God was. Abraham had written her off and Sarah was glad to be rid of her. But God had not forgotten her, not for one second.

The Hebrew name Hagar means "one who seeks refuge." The story of Hagar is the story of millions of woman and children who are exploited, trafficked and rejected all over our world. It's the story of the discarded and the unseen. And I also think it's a story for me and for you. No matter what our situation, we all feel alone and forgotten at times in our lives. We all have experienced the sting of betrayal and rejection. Feeling "unseen" by others is one of the loneliest and most difficult things to go through.

But we have a God who is looking for us, who is pursuing us. If we would stop and turn around, we would run right into Him, because He's right there, longing to love us!

God not only finds Hagar but He blesses her by saying her descendants would be too numerous to count. The angel spoke to her, promising her a child named Ishmael. I love that the name Ishmael means "God hears."

God hears us.

Hagar's response to God seeking her out in her hopelessness was to give Him a name. She calls Him "The God who sees me." I think it's an incredibly touching thing for her to do. She then says, "I have now seen the One who sees me" (Genesis 16:13). Perfectly stated. She finally gets it. It was her "Aha" moment.

What a wonderful picture of God's generosity, redemption and love. Hagar, an insignificant Egyptian slave girl, finds favor and hope with the God of all creation. Maybe she didn't know anything else about God expect that He was looking for her, and He saw her. But that was enough.

Hagar didn't have to do anything to please God. He was already pleased with her.

I think I finally get it too.

It was bedtime, and I was singing the song "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands" to my two-year-old daughter Kendyl. She asked me if she had gotten too big now for God to hold her in His hands. I said to her, "No, you are never too big for God to hold you. God is still holding mommy in His hands too." She looked at me with amazement in her eyes and said, "Wow mommy, God must be HUGE!"

I couldn't have said it better myself, my sweet Kendyl. God is huge. He's so huge that He can SEE every one of us, exactly when we need Him to see us the most.

This is such a "praise the Lord" moment. I would shout "Hallelujah," but it's really early and I would wake my kids. :) So I'm shouting on the inside.

He see me. He see you.

He is already pleased. So just stop and soak in this amazing truth.

Praise the Lord!!

I found this song on YouTube, and I love it. I think it is perfectly fitting for today. It's called, "When Love Sees You" by Mac Powell:

God, I am humbled and grateful that You see me. Thank you showing me Your heart for me. You pursue me every day and You are pleased with me before I ever do anything. That is amazing to me! Continue to show me, step by step, how to rest in these truths. Amen.

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If you are an imperfect wife, mom, daughter, or friend, struggling to stay focused on God in the craziness and find joy in the heartache, then we have something in common. I am a recovering perfectionist and daughter of the King, slowly learning to fully trust the One who sees me just as I am, and is already pleased. I’m so glad you are here.

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