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Hanging Onto His Faithfulness

We adopted my oldest son Ethan when he was eleven weeks old. I will never forget the morning I got the call from our adoption agency (June of 2004). I knew. I knew it with everything in me that this child was supposed to be our child. After ten years of aching for a child, God was finally saying, “yes!”

The first time my good friend had seen me since we had gotten back from Florida with Ethan, she looked at me for a long time and said, “You look totally different. Your face is glowing with a joy I have never seen. Have you looked in the mirror?”

I am hanging onto those memories with everything I have right now…when things are so hard. (see my last post called, “I Heard The Roar”)

I am also hanging on to something else I am beginning to see so clearly, shining into the darkness like a beacon of hope…

The faithfulness of God.

There are so many things that God HAD to be involved in…

  • We were on a waiting list for five years to get approval for help because of my son’s autism. The approval came just a few months ago, exactly when we would need it.
  • One of Ethan’s doctors we started seeing almost four years ago is exactly the doctor we needed to get us the help we need now.
  • Ethan’s insurance gave the go-ahead for the help we desperately needed within 24 hours (unheard of!!).
  • Doors opened and opened again-the timing was perfect.

Don’t get me wrong, this has been the hardest thing I have ever been through. The hardest. My heart is broken in a thousand pieces. The water is deep and dark and I don’t understand. But, in the middle of this hard…I feel God’s extravagant love for my son, for me, for my family. I feel Him in every detail. I know I can trust Him. And I want to praise Him and give God all the honor and glory today.

I’m hanging onto the verse God gave me with all of my heart:

Would you pray for Ethan?

Pray for protection from Satan, for healing for his mind, for a deep knowing in his heart of how much God and his family love him, for peace, for security, for restoring of all the things lost and broken. Pray that we would know how to love him and help him every step of the way.

Thank you for praying!

I pray this will be an encouragement and reminder to you that God is faithful every second of every day, even when we are not. He is always with us and is a shield for us, even when we can’t feel him. He is always good and perfect, even when we can’t see the evidence in the moment. He is always trustworthy.

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. – Psalm 18:30

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If you are an imperfect wife, mom, daughter, or friend, struggling to stay focused on God in the craziness and find joy in the heartache, then we have something in common. I am a recovering perfectionist and daughter of the King, slowly learning to fully trust the One who sees me just as I am, and is already pleased. I’m so glad you are here.

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